St. Louis Drivers

The. Worst.

St. Louis drivers are...the absolute worst drivers in the United States, perhaps in the entire world. I'd be making uneducated assumptions if I were to assume other places on Earth didn't have God-awful drivers. I'm sure they do. However, I'm quite sure St. Louie takes the cake.

Here is an example:

6:40 A.M. South City. River Des Peres Blvd., North Bound. I turn, after signaling and braking, right from Gravois Road onto River Des Peres Blvd. I note the speed limit sign quite quickly: 40 mph. This road is two lanes on each side, with no median. There are no curbs. Just grass. On the East side of the road, the river runs. It is high at the moment.

I have been taking this route to work because it is a much easier(and less chaotic) route than my old one, which was Jamieson. Too many stop signs that too many people rolled, ran, or sat at for 3 minutes. I am contently enjoying my daily drive to work ritual: a cigarette, a cup of coffee, and my iPod on shuffle.

As I begin the drive onto River Des Peres, I am cautious to heed the speed limit. One, to avoid a ticket, but let me be honest and tell you the real reason: I didn't want to spill my deliciously hot coffee. Regardless, I was heeding the limit. When out of nowhere, a silver Camry comes flying up in my rear view mirror. He slams on his brakes, then swerves into the left lane, riding another car's ass. The car's speed isn't suffice to him, so back he swerves into my lane, but this time he adds a long honk. To whom? I'd no idea...not me? Sure enough, he tails me long enough to pass the car in the left lane, and swerves in front of it. He guns it, and whilst he passes me, he honks, rips off his sunglasses, and gives me a bone-chilling stare.

Ummmm, what?! How has this man gotten angered by me? I have been minding my own business, and now he's honking, swerving, pointing, etc.

This man seems unstable enough to make me believe that he could/would do me some bodily harm, so I continue to drive, below the speed limit. Wouldn't you know that our cars would meet a few lights up. I ignore him, he honks his horn. Then I lost it. Flailing my arms and screaming profanities, I took off as the light was turning green. He rode the car's ass in front of him(leaving a few inches of space), and eventually cut across 2 lanes to make a turn onto a different street.

Leaving me outraged, confused, shaking, and wondering that, in the midst of all of the nonsense, my flicked cigarette made it out the window. Otherwise I've got a backseat that's close to being engulfed in flames.

Which is where that bastard driver belongs.

ode to a pigeon

oh, you manic birds,

since you swoop and shit on cars,

i smoke my cig quick.

~Katherine Tornatore

tepid

i am clean.
my eyes, washed free of makeup.
my skin soaks up the lotion.

i am blind.
i take out my eyes, the objects blur.
and i, in the mirror, i am beautiful to myself.

i am sore.
my muscles ache, my arms are weak,
my skin is icy, my heart is sick.

in my head, the highway is desolate.
your love always stays the same.
sunflowers are always in season.

and the chocolate melts on my tongue(quickly).

a tangled mess

in her wrinkled dress

masking signs of loneliness.

a lioness

with a hollowed breast

feelings never to confess.

i cannot stress, she is a mess.

If only

It's much more difficult for me to write and be introspective when I am happy, and not angry, sad or frustrated.

Sweet irony. My plate is full and yet I've got nothing to say...

Our Song

This. This is it. This is our song. Forever. Shall we dance?

Drinking in the morning sun
Blinking in the morning sun
Shaking off the heavy one
Heavy like a loaded gun

What made me behave that way?
Using words I never say
I can only think it must be love
Oh, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day

Someone tell me how I feel
It's silly wrong but vivid right
Oh, kiss me like the final meal
Yeah, kiss me like we die tonight

Cause holy cow, I love your eyes
And only now I see the light
Yeah, lying with me half-awake
Oh, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day

When my face is chamois-creased
If you think I'll wink, I did
Laugh politely at repeats
Yeah, kiss me when my lips are thin

Cause holy cow, I love your eyes
And only now I see you like
Yeah, lying with me half-awake
Stumbling over what to say
Well, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day

So throw those curtains wide!
One day like this a year'd see me right!

Points and Fourthmeals

HEY! It's been awhile...let's just say I fell off the health wagon for about a month or so. This was so because of many underlying issues. Some being:

*One of my bff's at work was full term in her pregnancy, and I (willingly) allowed her to talk me into getting delicious cheeseburgers and smoked turkey sandwiches(on pretzel rolls, with honey mustard sauce).  Sometimes a few times per work week. Whilst gluttonously savoring these dishes, often occompanied by a side of seasoned fries and/or an ice cold root beer, my Lean Cuisine meals sat in the fridge, slowly getting a freezer burn.

*Being healthy is HARD! Being healthy after consuming a (ahem) few cocktails=nearly impossible. And seeing that I am two blocks away from any fast food chain I could possibly crave, it's hard to choose a route that doesn't catch my drunken eye with their evil neon signs. 

Example. Me, on any given Friday night, post bars closing:

"Hey! Hey, Andy, pull over. I want some TACOS. Just two. Jussssst, just two. 'Cause I'm trying to be good. And, two tacos isn't BAD, right? GOD, I'm fat. I'm huge. I don't even care. Make it three tacos. AND a big Dr. Pepper!"

*Exercise=Discipline. I've always had problems following rules and being disciplined. Especially when there is no one there to slap me on the wrist when I am being lazy. I began counting the nights I "danced" at the bars exercise. However, I'm not quite sure that swaying my hips and bobbing my head to the music has ever made me break a sweat. 

Just a few examples, folks. I am on the right track again. Keeping track of how much(or little) I consume has worked well for me. The Weight Watchers point system is  glorious. It helps when there is any item of food, even if it is vegetables, that have zero points. This gives me the option to be gluttonous, even if it is by consuming 3 tomatoes. It's all about options. I have lost three pounds in two weeks. Yay! 117! Now, me being a big fan of instant gratification, I was expecting a monumental loss automatically. When I don't consume bread and/or pasta on a daily basis, I expect my body to immediately begin shedding lb's. Not true. 

But I'm getting there. I am off to go for a (strenuous)walk!